I'm not touching you
by Sueona
Summary: L finds a new way to get Raito to confess. Will it work or not? My mom wrote this


Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

Warnings: Some sexual hints.

Pairings: Well see for yourself.

Summary: L finds a new way to get Raito to confess. Will it work or not?

Notes: Hello readers. This is my second death note fic. I hope you get a laugh out of it. Please review/comment. Thanks for reading.

L sitting in his usual crouched position, thumb pressing against his lower lip he raises his eyes to stare at the ceiling. Absorbed in his own thoughts, he recollects all the different ways he tried to get Raito Yagami to admit he was Kira.

All the conventional police methods have failed, even his superior intellect proved to be ineffective. Giggling to himself, he thought, "I, myself have to admit Raito Yagami is a formable opponent." Still deep in thoughts L realizes the only thing that wasn't tried was physical torture. This was not an option; it was inhumane and too extreme.

A short period of time passes when L jumping out of his chair says aloud to no one, "I have a superb plan. I will need lots of cake and coffee for this!"

The next day at task force headquarters, L takes chief Yagami and Raito aside and explains to the both of them, "I must accompany Raito-kun at all times and everywhere."

Raito states sarcastically, "You'll never be able to do that. I just won't go for it."

"Really L. How do you propose to do such a task?" Chief Yagami asks.

Turning and walking towards a nearby desk. L reaches in a drawer and removes something, then returns. "With these." L answers the chief holding up a long chain with handcuffs on either end.

Quickly clasping the one cuff on Raito's wrist and the other on his own. L says, "This will assure I will be by Raito Yagami's side at all times."

Raito objects loudly, "I need my privacy!"

Chief Yagami adding, "My son is a young man, and I agree with him. He does need his privacy. This idea of yours L is outrageous."

Slightly grinning, L responds, "I am well aware of Raito-kun's need for privacy." He thinks, "Aware yes, my plan depends on it."

Raito knowing full well any more objections to this would only be ignored by L due to L's stubbornness. He tells his father, "Dad I think I can put up with this for a few days. Maybe going along with L's ridiculous idea will convince him I'm not Kira."

"Are you sure you're alright with this son? I can make him remove the cuffs." Chief Yagami tells his son.

"Yes." Raito responds.

Chief Yagami turns to L and says, "I have a question. Where are you and Raito going to stay? I can't have the two of you like this at the house. It would upset my wife."

"I had Watari prepare an apartment for us on one of the upper floors for us to stay." L says and continues, "Then everything is settled. I will stay chained to Raito Yagami until I am satisfied."

All three go to their desks and continue the work on the Kira case.

Raito looking over city maps on his computer gets the sensation he is being stared at. He turns his head to the left to see L's face in front of him.

"What are you doing?" Raito demands.

"Raito-kun I was looking at your hair." L says.

"Huh? Why?"

"It fascinates me. Not a single strand is out of place. Does Raito-kun spend many hours fixing his hair so it will stay in place?" L says while pushing some hair away from Raito's face and watching it flow back in place.

Floating behind Raito, Ryuk chuckles, "He thinks you are a girl."

"No. I am not a woman." Raito responds with a frown on his face and adds, "I do like my appearance well groomed it reflects my intelligence I believe."

L begins running his fingers through Raito's hair, saying, "Raito's hair is also very soft."

Ryuk falls over laughing and taunts, "Oooh, what pretty curls you have."

By this time the rest of the taskforce team notices L's strange behavior and wonders if the stress of not being able to solve the Kira Case has caused L to have some sort of mental breakdown. No one dares to speak up though.

For the rest of the day L continues to play, touch, smell, and blow on Raito's hair.

Floating over L's head, Ryuk teases, "He likes you. He thinks you're a girl. He wants to jump you."

Finally the young man had enough and yells, "Enough with the hair already. If you'd spend a little time grooming your own hair you wouldn't find mine so interesting. Just stop!" As an after thought, he goes and picks up an apple, taking a bite of it while mumbling around his food, "Hmmm, apples are so juicy."

"HEY! That's hitting below the belt." Ryuk mumbles. After watching L continues to play with Raito's hair, he teases, "But then again, I bet you want L to get you below the belt."

"Does Raito-kun find my actions irritating? I apologize. I will stop touching Raito-kun's hair." L tells the other.

Later that night, when the two young men retire to the apartment readied for them. L's off the wall behavior continues as Raito prepares for bed.

Raito removes his toothbrush, toothpaste, and dental floss out of a small black case and makes his way to the bathroom. L following only a few steps behind him, rattling the chain as a reminder.

Raito says, "L could you un-cuff me so I can get undressed and shower? You know it will be impossible to do with it on. I'm tired and I want to get ready for bed."

L answers, "I must accompany Raito at all times whatever Raito is doing."

"He wants to see you naked." Ryuk chuckles and then asks, "Do you want to see him naked?" He falls over howling.

In a surprised voice Raito exclaims, "You want to watch me shower? Fine just un-cuff me so I can get this over with and get some sleep."

"So you do want him." Ryuk states to Raito.

Unlocking the handcuffs off the both of them and setting them aside. L says, "I do not understand why Raito would find it disturbing to have me in the bathroom with him as he showers. Raito showered with other men after physical education class. Did he not?"

"Urgh." Raito groans frustrated both from Ryuk making comments and L's strange behavior.

Finished with his shower Raito wraps a towel around his waist and makes his way to the sink only to find L crouched on a stool beside it.

L questions, "What is Raito going to do now?"

"Brush my teeth." Raito answers. Thinking to himself, "I just have to ignore him."

Brushing his teeth Raito found it difficult to ignore L being that L's head was practically touching his, darkened eyes watching so intensely. Also, Ryuk keeps popping out of the mirror making comments about L staring at his behind.

Suddenly L reaches out and pulls Raito's lower lip down with his thumb looking at Raito's lower teeth and asks, "Is this routine the reason why Raito's teeth are so sparkly white?" Sniffing L adds, "I find Raito's breathe minty fresh too."

Ryuk's loud voice rings out for only Raito to hear, "He wants to suck face with you." Looking up at the ceiling, he remarks, "That's kissing right?"

Shoving the other man away Raito says angrily, "With all the sweets you eat, you ought to try brushing your teeth. I'll buy you a tooth brush and paste for your birthday. I'm going to sleep."

Raito leaves the bathroom with L in tail behind him. Raito heads for the bedroom, L following while he grabs the chain from where had placed it.

Getting his pjs on Raito inquires, "Are you going to put those things back on us?"

"No. I do not believe that will be necessary since I require no sleep. I will be able to watch Raito." L remarks.

"Whips and chains, baby. My kinda show. This is the excitement I came to earth for." Ryuk darkly chuckles.

"Thank god, at least I won't have that asshole in bed with me and I won't hear Ryuk's big mouth." Raito thinks as he crawls into bed. Exhausted Raito falls into a deep sleep.

Morning arrives, the alarm goes off and Raito awakens to find L sitting next to him in bed staring.

Startled by this he sits up quickly blurting out, "Geez! You scared the shit out of me."

Ryuk teases, "I thought he was going to roll you over and jump you. He wasn't kidding that he doesn't sleep. All he did was watch you while crawling over your body. Now where is my apple?"

"My intensions were not to frighten Raito." L says as he gets off the bed.

"What were they then?"

"Since I require no sleep, I was curious, and thought this was a perfect opportunity to observe the sleep process."

Ryuk taunts even more, mocking L, "Mine intensions were to screw you."

"Let's just get ready for work." Raito speaks up ignoring Ryuk mocking L every second. Looking around, he asks, "Which closet is mine?"

Ryuk mutters right by Raito's ear, "Coming out of the closest?"

"They all are. I have no need for closet space." L says pulling a t-shirt and jeans out of a gym bag and then putting them on. "I am ready." L says watching Raito maliciously going through the clothes in the closet.

Finally Raito decides on a pair of dark brown pair of dress pants and a beige and peach dress shirt. Rubbing some hair gel in his hair, he begins to brush his hair, checking himself in the mirror. "Damn I can't wear these clothes."

"Why?"

"They're wrinkled."

"Why is that a problem?"

"I can't go to work looking like this."

"Why?"

"It's just not proper."

"Why?"

"Because you should look neat and well groomed when you go to work."

"Why?"

"It makes you appear more intelligent and respectful."

Ryuk adds, "Because you want to look pretty for your man."

"Why does one have to appear more intelligent and respectful?" L asks.

"So the boss will notice you and possibly give you a promotion. If you dress like a slob, it would probably get you fired."

"Why?"

"Hey it just the way things are."

"Why?"

"I don't have time to answer all your questions. I have to get a different outfit. I don't want to be late for work."

"Why?"

"I don't want to get fired."

"Do I need to remind Raito, I am the boss and Raito's appearance is no concern to me. As for being late, you cannot leave without me."

Ryuk adds once again, "Besides, if you sleep with him, he won't fire you."

By this time Raito has changed and L throws the cuffs back on.

On the ride to headquarters Raito's mind races with different thoughts and questions.

_Why was L behaving like this? What was he trying to accomplish? How much more of this can I withstand? L is annoying the hell out of me. I have to continue along with this until I have it all figured out. I wish Ryuk would shut his mouth. It is so annoying that I can't say a damn word to him. _

At headquarters L starts with the strange behavior just like the day before.

L starts off by pulling Raito's neatly tucked shirt out of his pants. Every time Raito tucks his back in L pulls it out again. This continues for hours.

"He's trying to feel you up, Raito." Ryuk taunts while he pops out of the computer; almost scaring the shit out of Raito.

Chief Yagami seeing his son was becoming very irate, he confronts L, "What on earth are you doing?"

L tells him, "Raito believes his appearance makes him more intelligent. I am just testing a theory. I want to see if not being so neat will make Raito behave in a less intelligent manner."

"My son is not a lab rat. So stop." Chief Yagami orders L.

Over the next couple of days, L continues to harass Raito by one form or another; touching his hair, asking childish questions, and even crawling on top of him to watch him sleep. Unknown to anyone else, Ryuk continues to make sexual jokes at Raito.

Finally, Raito had enough one morning, shouting at the top of his voice so everyone could hear, "L, I don't want any part of you touching me! Don't play with my hair, watch me shower and crawl on top of me at night! Just don't touch me at all!"

Everyone stops their work and stares at the two geniuses, confused. Matsuda is the first to ask, "Crawls on top of you?"

Ignoring the others, grinning, L replies, "I shall not touch Raito-kun in any manner from now on. I give my word."

The next day while at the computer, L takes his index finger and points it at Raito about a half an inch away from his face.

"L! You gave your word!" Raito yells.

"I am not touching you."

"L!"

"I am not touching you."

"L, stop!"

"I am not touching you."

"L, get away from me!"

"I am not touching you."

Over and over again Raito's pleas for L to leave him alone are answered with the same phrase.

"I am not touching you."

"Dad, a little help please."

Sitting beside Raito, Ryuk whispers, "He's not touching you but he wants to."

"L, you gave your word. Now move away from my son." Chief Yagami says."

"I am a man of my word. I am not touching him." L replies to the chief.

This little episode continues for hours with the other task force members watching and listening in bewilderment.

By now L has a finger from each hand going back and forth ever so slightly away from Raito's face as the younger man keeps trying to bat them away. All the while L keeps saying, "I am not touching you."

Abruptly the young man falls out of his chair to his knees, covering his face with his hands screaming like a banshee, "I can't take it! I can't take anymore!"

With tears coming out of his eyes he looks up at everyone, who are now standing around him and says, "I am Kira. I admit to it all. Now just get me away from that crazy man!"

Staring with wide eyes, Ryuk voices confused, "You giving up, Raito?"

The room is silent except for one monotone voice saying, "Really?"

Jumping to his feet, with two fingers pointing at L and a hearty laugh in his voice Raito says, "Nope," followed by, "Gotcha!"

Ryuk falls over laughing hard and chuckles, "That will show him who is dominate in the relationship." Looking over at Raito, he watches the teenager pick up an apple and dump it in the trash while he mourns, "No body knows the trouble I have seen."


End file.
